inhighschool

this was placed on the front doors of the girls dormitory at the bible college I attended when I was 17.

it was strictly forbidden to have men in your dorms. they were only allowed in the parlor. no, this was not 1950, this was 2001.

also not allowed, TV and getting in past curfew at eleven during the week, 1:00am on Fridays and midnight on Saturdays — to make sure we were in bed in time for mandatory church on Sundays.

I dropped out of high school when I was 16. Not a lot of people know this. I forget sometimes because it seems so long ago and absolutely insane. I dropped out of high school to home school two years of high school into one (graduating a year early).

I hated high school and wanted to be with my high school sweet heart at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary.

my parents were completely against this idea. but I begged and pleaded and saved up my money to pay for the books & fees and they reluctantly agreed. Several conditions were placed, including that I had to continue going to marching band, pick up and drop off all three of my sisters from school (and at the time they all went to separate schools, elementary, middle and high) and continue working my job at the beach shop on Englewood Beach.

That was one of the worst years, if not the worst years of my life. I was completely obsessed with the future. and according to my dream page, it looked pretty scary.

enclosed in my “letter to future erica” was this cut out from a bridal magazine of this very delicate and conservative bridal gown.

the girls in my youth group used to go to books a million and buy bridal magazines.

(written on the back of my 16 year old letter to future Erica on her wedding day, letter).

The reason I wrote this at the time —

I was completely devastated that my high school boyfriend (who was two years my senior and in seminary) would not let me go to my prom. He said we’d already gone to his and that was enough.

I resolved (disparagingly) not to go. Until the day of, my girlfriends and I crashed the rival schools prom and I went with one of my other childhood crushes from church.*

*I have photos of this

16 year old me writes a letter to future married me. this is officially 10 years old now. which makes me super old to be married off in Christian culture. I might as well be stuck with a Divorcée. thanks God.

I have pages 3, 4 and 5 — and am digging for pages 1 and 2.

how to get to heaven from Florida — track

in high school, my church (like many across the country) were very concerned with Y2K. what would happen? would Jesus come back? was the world going to end? this was after all, 1999.

to play on calm the fears of the community, our church wrote and produced a massive Christmas pageant about the potential millennium bug, entitled Y2 Christmas. continuing in my love for the theater, I eagerly signed up to play the role of the teenager daughter in a family concerned about Y2K while sitting around a Christmas fireside.

Sadly, I was always overlooked for the more wholesome Christian girls in the church, as “punk rock,” Christian wasn’t entirely hip in the Southern Baptist Convention.

so I did my part and played my clarinet in the orchestra to add a decorative touch to the live crucifixion scene. It was my magnum opus of instrumental virtuoso - Christ being flogged while carrying a large cross down our isle. Then proceeded to hang on the cross in front of the entire congregation for 20 minutes of instrumental and song ballad.

To the encouraged and invite guests from the community, I am sorry for inviting you to what seemed like a nice Christmas pageant.

at a young age, I learned the importance of tithing to the church. but by the time I’d reached middle school I discovered Carman.

To sum up Carman, he was a contemporary Christian “stadium act,” that incorporated theater, multimedia and dance routines.

as a Thespian, he was absolutely titillating. AND he boasted the same CHOREOGRAPHER AS JANET JACKSON. what was there NOT to love.

I made a very bold choice to stop tithing to my church because I did not understand where the money was going to. I felt it was a large conspiracy. but Carman, Carman was going to dance and sing his way through stadiums in America, performing free concerts.

I was fully on board and began to tithe weekly.

plus, if I committed to join Carman’s mission I could win a full contemporary Christian music record collection & surprise.

when I was in middle school I finally figured out that my aunt was gay. I wrote to Brio Mag (a Christian Teen Girl mag published by Focus on the Family) for advice on how to deal. This is there response.